Friday, November 21, 2008

I'm strange

As I was deciding on a title for this post, I also toyed with the idea of "Obligatory I'm-sorry-it's-been-so-long-since-my-last-post." When I settled on "I'm strange" it occurred to me that the content of this post is certainly not the only strange thing about me. It's possible "I'm strange" will become a common posting subject.

I think this particular oddity about me probably has it's roots in psychosis of some sort.

I am a collector. Interestingly, I don't collect anything that can be proudly displayed. I'm not into knickknacks or even all that obsessed about shoes. Once upon a time I tried being a stamp collector, then a collector of carousel horse music boxes, and lastly a barbie collector. I still have the dolls, and someday, Eve can have them. I never managed to maintain my ardor for any of those things, and I can't say I've ever bought myself anything to add to my previous collections. I wasn't that in to it.

My collections are more utilitarian in nature.

fabric, vintage textiles (to use as fabric), vintage buttons...

Boxes, salvageable Christmas and birthday wrapping, including tissue paper, gift bags, and ribbon.

Boxes? Okay, maybe that's not strange. You wanna know what is?

I can't use all this. No, I don't mean I have no use for them, I mean...I can't use them because then I would no longer have them.

Need to mail a package? Maybe there's a recent box in the garage, because the ones in my collection are very unique and I might need those dimensions some day, and the thing I'm sending can very well fit in any old box.

Need to wrap a gift? I can't just go out and get all this pretty wrapping I've saved--it's, at this point, 10 years old! It's precious. Irreplaceable. Where's that new roll of paper from the dollar store?

If I don't have to cut the salvaged ribbon or wrapping paper and the recipient of the gift will be opening the gift in my home...then maybe I can use it. After all, if they're careful, I can get the ribbon and paper and box right back--ostensibly to dispose of it for them. Yeah, right.

Fabric? Well, that I'll use if there's plenty of it. But once I get down to the last half-yard, I can't very well use it on this project, after all, the recipient of this sewn gift wouldn't possibly value this lovely fabric as it should be valued. I'll save it for someone who would, if such a paragon exists.

And Fabric fat-quarters? Those lovely squares of fabric sold pre-cut to be used by quilters? They just happen to also be the perfect size for little bags, head bands, etc. But I might as well not even buy these--and lie to myself that I'll use them--because if you only start with a quarter of a yard, you can't use it for anything and expect to have any left over. Come on!

Buttons? Oh dear, these are worse than boxes. No chance of getting them back if I incorporate them in a gift. So, although this green Bakelite button is the perfect shade and size for this project, I'll have to find something a little more common, because, as usual, the recipient couldn't possibly know how special a little green button is, right? Right.

Ribbon? Perish the thought! This stuff doesn't grow on trees you know. How often to you get a gift wrapped with a fabric ribbon? And do you have any idea where one could buy such ribbon to replace this scant yard of lovely chocolate raspberry top-stitched grosgrain? No? Well then, don't expect to see it leave my trim box.

Sigh. What is wrong with me?!

There have been a few instances in which I've used my beloved boxes, buttons and ribbons. Because, I know it's not healthy to constantly collect and never use any of it. And then I must bite my tongue to keep from gushing rather inappropriately about this or that.

As a smile, my heart says, "I'm very glad you like it. I did spend a bit of time making it. It's made from my favorite ever wool coat...I wish the coat was still wearable. I've had it forever! There's not enough left to make anything else. Isn't it the best fabric ever? Just look at that color!! And did you see that cute little button there? I've had it for 6 years. Found it at Goodwill, can you believe someone just gave that away?! I know!! And um, that box. Did you notice it actually has a magnet in the lid to close it? and the board is so substantial! Not to mention I didn't have to wrap it, since it's covered in silver paper and there's even a bow on top! I had not trouble wrapping your gift in it because I actually have another at home! I can have my cake and eat it too. Please don't throw it away. If you might, perhaps you should just give it to me. It's really a great box. Even if you won't throw it away, unless you really love it, maybe you ought to just give it to me anyway. You don't need that thing lying around your house, right?"

Talk about obnoxious. And insane.

Are you strange? Share in the comments (or link to your own blog) so I can feel slightly better about this. And laugh at you. ;)