Friday, October 27, 2006

Me and 39 other people

So, yesterday my company laid off 40 employees... leaving them (if my calculations are correct) with around 60 left.

Oh, you noticed I said "them" and maybe you caught the entry heading.

That's right, folks. I'm no longer employed.

Yesterday I was 100% Happy about it, for myself anyway. I feel pretty bad for most of the other people. Quite a few of them are people I hired and trained and promised grand things to in my faith that the CEO would take our company to great heights. I actually lost faith quite a while ago, but I still hoped.

Sadly, it appears to simply be dying a very slow death.

I hope that's not the case, and that instead this will be like cutting away old growth trees in a forest...that new life will immediately spring up and replace that which was lost and more.

Yes, I was quite happy to go. I've wanted to be a full-time stay-at-home mom for nearly 2 years now, and this looked like my ticket.

But then there's reality.

If we could afford for me to not work, I wouldn't have had to wait for a lay-off. We must cut expenses by about a third, and if you are at all familiar with things around here, we were already buckled down really tight. There's not much else to cut. Selling our house would fix us up, but then we'd just have to buy another.

I can't say with 100% certainty, but it is really looking like I'll need to find a new job. I heard on the news last night that Starbucks is opening many a new store. I've never been a barista, but I think I could do it.

So, facing this reality has me feeling a smidge less excited than yesterday. And feeling wistful over nearly six and a half years of memories. I met some wonderful people in that time; nothing like the perky happy co-eds I'll call coworkers at a coffee shop. I had a blast. I don't think I could find a smarter, funnier group anywhere else. I wish I could have parted from them under better circumstances.

I don't know if you'll be hearing from me as often these days. If I don't get a new job, I may not have Internet access. If I do, I obviously won't have time to post from work. Next time I post, I hope it's with really great news instead of this bittersweet kinda stuff.

One thing's for sure, God has a plan, it just doesn't involve my former employer. :)