On a somewhat lighter note

Last night I watched the last episode of Buffy. I didn't catch the Buffy thing when it was "live" until the end of season 6. So, since about that time I've been going through the DVD seasons as they've come out. I bought the sets until hitting season 4. Since then I've been loving Netflix. Good thing too, because who would really want to own season 7?

I have lots of problems with the season, but I just want to remind everyone that the nasty ubervamp, all one of him, at the beginning of the season totally kicked Buffy's ass. I mean, she was dog meat. After much labor, she won the day with him... but it still wasn't easy. So, I want to know how that was just completely and totally forgotten when all the slayerettes went down into the hellmouth. I mean... yes, they all became real, honest to goodness slayers, but one ubervamp was a little more than one slayer could chew, way back at the beginning of the season. And now the only reason they didn't win without the crisping of Spike was because there were a lot more ubervamps than slayerettes? Bah.

In other television news. I love Lost. No, the show is not perfect. Really, it's not. There are some wonderfully entertaining places to read about how imperfect it is. This one is great, and so is this one! Thanks to X for that last one. So, we get to have fun making fun of the plot holes, bad hair, and un-lovable "heroes." But, more importantly, it really inspires, in me and my husband at least, meaningless but rousing debate. The show is fun to talk about! In contrast, last night, after we watched Survivor (yawn) and CSI, we didn't have much to say. Except Tom. He's decided that he's had enough of the lack of realism in CSI. Because kids who watch it might want to become forensic scientists because they think they will have jobs like CSI. That is obviously the worst thing that could happen. He has no problem with the lack of realism in Lost. He's got so many facets. ;)

Lost has a lot of the same problems that Season 7 (and 6) of Buffy had. Why am I mad about Buffy and not about Lost? I also have many facets. No, really, it’s because I cared about Buffy. I wanted it to be as great as it once was. Lost on the other hand, I don’t care… it’s just a fun little game, with some lovable characters and some good actors… maybe someday Lost can rise to its potential, but even if it doesn’t, I’ll still be a fan.

Speaking of Buffy. I still haven’t caught an episode of the new “Bones” show with Angel. But I did catch “How I met your mother” with Willow. Totally disappointed that Willow is straight (yay!) but merely, once again, a side-kick (boo). Doogie Houser cracks me up though, so I may watch the show a second time. Before the very last line of the show, I said to Tom, “So… is the show over? We know how he met their mother.”

“Oh yeah…hmmm.”

After the last line, Tom says, “They can’t do that much longer. I wonder what they’re going to do.” We’ll see if they can keep us interested.

I hope that’s enough TV for you. Now get back to work.

Finding it...

So, there's been some soul-searching going on in a friend's life. I don't think she'll mind you knowing who she is (since I think the three people who read this blog read her blog too). It's Dee.

Her ruminations, and the struggles I'm having in my own life have me thinking.

I'm not a humble person. Really, I loathe the know-it-allness, and center-of-the-worldness that is me. But, that's who I am. Chalk it up to being practically perfect in every way and being the oldest and only daughter of an adoring mother. Maybe I've fooled some of you, but I think you've all had a brush with the I-can-do-anything and I-have-all-the-answers me.

So, not surprisingly, I've known my whole life that I'm destined for something big. The effervescent thought of grandeur floated in my head for all of my youth before solidifying in the Fall (or the fall) of 2001. What was I doing with my life? I wanted to stand up and mean something in the world, share me with those who needed... me.

I wanted to do something practical... ha ha, as far as I got was giving blood in October. Papa talked me out of joining the military. Money talked me out of going to school to become a nurse. I continued to labor in my non-world-changing computer programming job. I felt I had no skills to volunteer for anything valuable.

In December I found a new way to procrastinate at work, and began several long months where kind accolades for my amateur writing had me envisioning my name on hard-bound spines lined up in bookcases across the country. But I'd start with a smaller dream, my name on paper spines in the Romance section at Barnes and Noble. Chuh. I still harbor a small hope that life will someday combine inspiration and with time and ability, and I'll at least be able to finish writing a book, even if it never shows up in Mass-market paperback.

My enthusiasm for greatness began to wane, until an opportunity for volunteer work arose in 2003. I think that might be my moment of humanitarian greatness. It was 2 weeks.

About the same time my heart told me it was time for a baby, even if my husband told me it wasn't. Ever since that time, it seems, he and I have been at odds. Biology won the day, and today I have a beautiful 10 month old. And now I've realized something.

I was destined for great things. And this is it. I have found great satisfaction in being Eve's mom. I don't feel like I'm searching any longer to find what it is I should do with my life. And I don't feel like I've lost my freedom to pursue greatness. Greatness is upon me.

I am far from satisfied with my life, as it is far from perfect. But I am satisfied with my role as wife and mother. Before I became pregnant, I would never have believed I would say something like this, but I've come to realize that motherhood is the highest calling. It requires sacrifice and dedication to the nth degree, and even at 10 months, it's more rewarding than anything else I've ever pursued or accomplished.

I've found it.

I have good friends

What would I do without you? I was down, and you lifted me up. I appreciate it.

Deflated

So, yesterday I was on top of the world. Well, I should qualify that. I was on top of the world about being able to help others. The rest of life is rather less than topish, but I was going to be working with The Mobility Project again!


Sure, I wasn't going to be going anywhere, but I was helping. I was going to help refurbish wheel chairs which would then be going with a local group to Houston to help displaced Katrina victims who needed mobility. Usually this group doesn't work within the United States because there is so much federal and personal wealth. However, as we all know, Katrina created so much need, that they decided to accept an invitation to Houston. I was also going to send with them 10 homemade baby carrier wraps-- donated by the local NINO group I lead--to be distributed to needy moms who could really use a hands-free way to carry their babies.


Even yesterday my elation began to wane. First off, the VP of the organization called me to tell me to wear makeup, TV cameras and a Seattle Times reporter would be there. Bleh. Then, after having arrived about 20 minutes later than I hoped to (the makeup application) I was told by the VP's husband that there really wasn't much left to do... but be on TV. They had stepped up the effort Sunday, and had over 100 chairs to pack for shipment to Houston. So I felt pretty useless. With Eve strapped to my back, I didn't have the capability of just doing whatever, and had been hoping for a job that would fit with my back-baby. So, all-in-all, I managed to help screw into place a single wheel-chair seat. I think I was more in the way, but the TV crew wanted to record some working... and most the real workers had left. Then, I helped move about 10 wheel chairs that needed to be packed up and shipped back to the warehouse where they would await refurbishing another day. Oh, and I helped another lady remove a bolt from another wheel-chair part. Woo hoo! Oh well...I consoled myself that the baby wraps were a worthy contribution, even if I hadn't been needed for the chairs.


I came down a bit more when Tom decided we wouldn't go out to dinner with the crew... great people who I haven't gotten to spend much time with since I returned from Afghanistan over 2 years ago... I miss them, and dinner would have been an awesome time!


Oh well. Still, a good thing that I was a small part of was going to happen for my countrymen. Plus, maybe Eve would have her television debut in the evening news. ;)


However, today the VP sent out an email to let us all know the trip has been canceled due to Hurricane Rita.


*Shrug* what can you do about the weather? I feel small for being disappointed. So... no chair delivery, no wrap distribution... no news segment! Combine this disappointment with what the rest of my life is handing to me these days, and you've got a recipe for a nice little pity party that could carry me through the week. However, as the only adult in my household, I am not afforded the luxury of pity parties... so I must buck up and smile and figure out what to do about the baby wraps.

You know...

I've been meaning to make a music recommendation.

Get yourself a copy of the Fountains of Wayne album, Welcome Interstate Managers.

Yes, this is the Fountains of Wayne that is responsible for Stacy's Mom. Hee. But the whole album is quite brilliant. It's got a Fall sort of feeling to it, catchy, singable tunes, but not too sunny. On the other hand, not too heavy either. My favorite aspect of their songs is the feeling that you're listening to the real them. Unlike some posing groups out there, they write songs about the work-a-day world the rest of us live in, rather than making up a life they never had.

Mexican Wine is great, Valley Wintersong is cozy, and Haley's Waitress is soooo exactly what we've all experienced. :) Every song is awesome. There's not a bad apple in the bunch.

When your done with that and ready to change gears, move on to something a little angsty sounding, but still totally beautiful.

Evanescence's Fallen album.

X turned me on to this band quite some time ago. She said, and I agree, that a few of the songs are perfect Vampire romance songs. I have to agree that "Bring me to Life" would be much more appropriate in Underworld than in Daredevil *gag*.

This has eclipsed my tired old Jagged Little Pill as the album of choice for when I'm feeling fighty with Tom and can't actually have a fight with him. LOL.

Plus, it's just gorgeous music. To look at the lead vocalist, you would not believe the powerhouse she is. And her voice is the perfect counterpoint to the dark lyrics and harsh edge in the instrumentals.

Okay, I'm done. Enjoy!

Nothing very clever

That's right. I'm just posting to pass the time. I've nothing particular to share. How about a peek into my night's sleep? Sound exciting? I though you'd be interested.

Eve fell asleep accidentally around 8. I say accidentally, because I hadn't really anticipated it, nor had I hoped for it. 9 is her usual bed time. Needless to say, she felt like more of a nap than a long night's sleep. She woke as soon as we tried to move her to her bed. I spent another half hour purposefully putting her to sleep. She slept fitfully for a little over 2 hours... just after I went to bed. It took until midnight to get her back to sleep. I think after that she slept until 3, though I didn't actually check the clock. I spent the rest of the night on the rocking chair with her in my lap. I woke up at 5:30 to find her asleep, and put her back in her bed to return to mine. about 10 minutes later she was up again, crying. I sat in the rocker until she fell asleep again, but she woke as soon as I tried to move her. I heard Tom's alarm go off, so I brought her into our bed to try to get a bit more sleep. No. She was awake and thrilled to be with us. I never got anymore sleep. Blah.

I think this explains why I don't have much to say today. :)

When it rains it pours

Gosh I'm talkative today, aren't I?

So, in addition to my snail's pace progress to work today, I noticed another thing. School busses really mess with my schedule. That, along with the "This is my arterial road and I'll set the speed limit" vigilantes have turned my short cut into a loooong, sloooow, scenic route. I think I'll have to go back to the freeway.

But, if I do that, then I'll miss the interesting sights. Like this morning. I'm not sure who exactly I saw waiting at the end of a long shared driveway for a school bus today. She was dressed in one of those tissue skirts... with the hem dipping down to several points, a long shirt with a thin, tiny tied-in-front long-sleeved shrug. Her hair was stick straight, and her make-up was done for a night out. Then I noticed the baby in her arms. Was she a high school student or a mom with a school-aged child? I was so confused! Who has time, energy or inclination to look like that with children? And... if she's a student, how sad!

What would I blog about if I take the highway to work? ;)

29 Pines, or... hell?

The camping trip I spoke of a few weeks ago. It came and went, and was truly as awful (at least) as I thought it would be. I'm never returning to that place. I got stung by yellow jackets, Tom got stung by yellow jackets, and Eve barely escaped. There were no hookups, no running water. Ugh. I am a neurotic hand washer. Not having a place to wash my hands for at least 20 seconds with soap and hot water is near torture for me. I can sacrifice for a good cause, but I don't consider it recreation if I can't wash my darn hands!!

Trying to focus on the positive, I *did* get to see quite a few shooting stars on the drive there, and I got to sleep with Eve, rather than having to get up every few hours to feed or cuddle her. So, I actually slept better than I do at home!

Also, I got to practice my rock stacking, which I find relaxing and rewarding. I can't remember where or when I saw my first rock stack, but I was imediately intrigued. So I decided to try it. I didn't learn from anyone, I just sort of figured it out on my own. My MIL (bless her heart) tells me a dear friend of hers thinks it's satanic (!?!?), but I feel it is an amazing testament to God. He made each stone, and created the forces that allow them to be balanced in a seemingly precarious way atop one another. It's really cool that way.

We took pictures of the two big ones I made. All the others got knocked over rather quickly by my 3 year old nephew. Oh well, such things are temporary, and the fun is more in the creating than in the creation. Maybe I'll get around someday to putting the pictures up somewhere. I'm sure it will be in combination with some adorable Eve pictures. :)

Thank you

You know who you are. You, in your gray-green Honda minivan. You single-handedly kept me and 20 other drivers from making it to work a few worthless minutes early. You kept us from even approaching the speed limit. You were on a crusade to keep everyone at a horse and buggy speed. You saved us precious gas when it is costing so much. I salute you. I'm also quite pleased that you didn't choose to get coffee when I get coffee, because I'm sure you would have ordered half a dozen drinks, and I would have been actually *late* for work. Thank you!