A nice turn around

So I continued to feel lousy all day on Monday, until I got home.

Eve ran to me, so happy to see me, and gave me the biggest, longest kiss. And then giggled and kissed me again and again. And then stroked my hair and looked so happy to be in my arms and to have me home. I couldn't continue to feel sorry for myself with that kind of love.

Then Tom, who had planned on having the night to himself in order to practice his guitar, said he'd watch Eve so I could go to one of those product parties at a friend's. I'd been pretty bummed to have to cancel due to lack of babysitters, not because I planned to buy anything with my no-discretionary-spending budget, but because I knew my friend would be serving something wonderfully yummy to eat, and I would get to relax rather than try to do the nighttime routine all by myself. He was so cordial and encouraging about it, I could tell he wasn't just doing it grudgingly. It was such a blessing to get to go, and the food was, indeed, delicious. Again, how could I continue to be grumpy in the face of my husband's love?

Finally, that night Tom and I stayed up pretty late and had a long conversation about my parenting concerns.

He isn't worried and feels we're doing an okay job. I wouldn't say I totally agree with him, but it was comforting to know that he's not dissatisfied with my parenting, so no extra pressure there.

He also said I need to stop worrying about screwing her up, because in one way or another, we're going to screw her up. Basically, he says I need to stop striving for perfection, because it's impossible to achieve. While not comforting, it is freeing to accept that I cannot be the perfect mother, and that my child cannot be perfect, no matter how hard I try and wish for it.

In addition to all that, there were a couple great comments on my last post with practical and real-world truth on sibling rivalry and discipline--which was encouraging and helpful.